A Mac user found a magic lamp with a Genie in it. The Genie said he wasn't as powerful
as other Genies and could only grant one wish. So the Mac User brought out a map of
the Middle-East and asked the Genie if he could bring peace to the people there. The
Genie said "Ah, you see, its hard to do that. Those people have been fighting for years.
Its a religion thing, and about territory. Why as soon as their teenagers, they go to war.
Pick something else." So the Mac User said, "Ok, make MacOS 8.0 a pre-emptitive
multitasking system, that is crash-proof and stable, has support for multiple
processors, and still has 100% compatibility with all the current MacOS apps." So the
Genie shook his head and said, "Ah let me take a look at those maps again....."
A Mac User decides that he's had enough of being a Mac User --unappreciated, all those
silly jokes. So he decides to change systems. He goes into a shop, and says, "I want to
buy a PC." The man behind the counter looks at him for a moment, and then says, "You
must be a Mac User." The Mac User is astonished, and says, "Well, yes, I am. But how
did you know?" "Well, sir, this is a pet shop."
A Mac Programmer was hiking in the mountains, and he came upon a shepherd who
was tending a large herd of sheep that were grazing in the alpine meadow. The violist
took a fancy to the sheep, and asked the shepherd: "If I can guess how many sheep
you have, can I have one?" The shepherd thought this was an odd request, but thought
that there was little chance that the man would guess the exact number of sheep, so he
said "Sure."
The Mac Programmer guessed "You have 287 sheep," to the shepherd's astonishment,
since this was exactly how many sheep he had. The Mac Programmer got all excited
and asked "Can I pick out my sheep now?" and the shepherd grudgingly gave his
permission. The Mac Programmer selected his sheep, bent over, and swung the sheep
over his shoulders, to carry home with him. The shepherd then got an idea and asked
"If I guess what your occupation is, can I have my sheep back?" The violist was a bit
surprised by this, but figured that it was unlikely that the shepherd would be able to
guess his occupation, and went along with the deal. The shepherd then guessed
"You're a Mac Programmer, aren't you?" The Mac Programmer was very surprised and
asked, "How did you know?" The shepherd responded, "Put the dog down and we'll
talk about it."
A noted computer expert and comic was recently flying to Berlin. He decided to strike
up a conversation with his seat mate. "I've got a great Mac User joke. Would you like to
hear it?"
The man replied, "I should let you know first that I am a Mac User".
Then the first man said;"That's OK. I'll tell it real slow!"
One day Timmy came home from school very excited. "Mommy, Mommy, Guess
what? Today in English I
got all the way to the end of the alphabet, and everyone else got messed up around
'P'!"
His mother said, "Very good, dear. That's because you're a Mac User."
The next day, Timmy was even more excited. "Mommy, Mommy, guess what! Today in
math I counted
all the way to ten, but everyone else got messed up around seven!"
"Very good, dear," his mother replied. "That's because you're a Mac User."
On the third day, Timmy said "Mommy, Mommy, today we measured
ourselves and I'm
the tallest one in my class! Is that because I'm a Mac User?"
"No dear," she said. "That's because you're 26 years old."
